Houri

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Houri are the womanly delights apparently promised the devout Muslims in Paradise.

More on womanly delights[edit]

They are, allegedly, and paradoxically, perpetually virgins,[note 1][note 2] despite any sexual congress they engage in and, in an odd echo of the myths surrounding Mary (Mother of Jesus), their virginity is miraculously restored after each session of intercourse.

These beings seem to be remarkable in some ways, as we are told by Muhammad al-Bukhari in his collection of Hadiths Sahih Bukhari:

...(who will be so beautiful, pure and transparent that) the marrow of the bones of their legs will be seen through[note 3] the bones and the flesh.[1]

They will not urinate, relieve nature, spit,[note 4] or have any nasal secretions. Their combs will be of gold, and their sweat will smell like musk. The aloes-wood will be used in their centres.[note 3] Their wives will be houris. All of them will look alike and will resemble their father Adam[note 5] (in statute), sixty cubits tall.[2][3]

All of which (especially the "sixty cubits" part, which would make them 90 to over 100 feet tall [depending on your cubit], and a proportionally sized vagina about half a meter in diameter) may go some way to explaining their perpetual virginity. All in all, this scenario suspiciously resembles a teenage boy's fantasy, which may provide some insight into the intended target demographics of the original preachers.

Ghilman[edit]

The ghilman (ghulam in singular) are eternally youthful boys that serve both men and women in Paradise, and are often likened to waiters or eunuchs who serve their masters (but we know what they're really there for, you closeted jihadists!). Incidentally, the word "ghilman" was also the name for slave-soldiers in the Ottoman, Mughal and Persian empires.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Notes[edit]

  1. There is an underlying assumption that devout Muslims are interested in houris and not, for example gay men, after all gay sex is forbidden in Islam. Both genders are covered, assuming they are straight and not asexual.
  2. For the varieties intended for male consumption, at least.
  3. 3.0 3.1 So from these 2 verses we have transparent wood, besides the assumption that the houris are made out of wood?
  4. Lack of saliva may induce unnecessary difficulties in some activities
  5. Drag kings?

References[edit]